[Dear abby] 230405

 

Firefighter's Wife Alarmed by Man's Behavior at Party

- April 05, 2023 -

DEAR ABBY: Last night I went to a party where my husband introduced me to all of his co-workers except for one young female who kept hanging out beside him. She's about 25 years younger than he is, and he's her boss.

I thought it was odd that he didn't introduce me. I finally introduced myself because it felt so awkward. He often talks about her (affectionately, in my opinion) and what a hard worker she is, plus that her mother is going through cancer treatment so he feels bad for her.

Abby, my husband has worked with this young woman's father for more than 25 years and has always talked about how much he dislikes him. He says she's the "polar opposite" of her dad. These people are firefighters, and my husband is their battalion chief.

Our marriage has suffered because of his 25 years of alcoholism, and although he's no longer drinking, the effect on me continues. I have learned to pick my battles because he will deny anything that I ask or change a story so I seem "crazy." My question is, should I ask my husband why he didn't introduce me? The whole situation didn't feel right. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Sure. You have the right to ask your husband anything you wish. Whether you can get an honest answer from someone who regularly gaslights you is another question entirely. After he denies it, tell your husband how glad you are to know that nothing is going on because, unlike years ago, sexual impropriety between a boss and a subordinate could cost both parties their careers. Then, to ensure that you haven't been exposed to an STD, make an appointment with your doctor to be tested.

 

battalion chief : battalion은 대대라는 뜻, 즉 대장이다.

impropriety : 부적절한 행동

pick my battle : 싸움을 골라서 하다

STD : 맥락 상 성병, sexually transmitted disease

 

소방관인 자신의 남편이 25살이나 어린 여자 동료를 소개해주지 않았다는 내용. 남편은 그녀의 아버지와 직장 동료였는데 그 때 그 남자를 끔찍하게 싫어했다고 한다. 필자는 남편의 알코올 중독으로 고통받았었고 싸우면 자신을 무시했었기 때문에 왜 그녀를 소개하지 않았는지 물어볼지 말지 고민하고 있다.

 

 

Wife Decides To Keep Politics Out of Family Photo

- April 05, 2023 -

DEAR ABBY: Every year, my wife makes a photo book of the family and sends it to everyone. This year, she included a picture taken during a nephew's birthday party. In it, my father is wearing a politically charged T-shirt, except she photoshopped the offending (to us) message out. When I asked her to not do that, but instead to remove the entire photo, she refused. She said there were no other good photos from the party, so her only option was to remove the message on the shirt.

I'm opposed because my father will be angry when he realizes his shirt has been altered in the photo. He will then bring it up at every opportunity and berate me, my wife and even my mother about how terrible it was to do that, and for us not to bother ever sending him another photo book again, despite my mother looking forward to it every year. What is your advice for us? -- OUT OF FOCUS IN FLORIDA

DEAR OUT OF FOCUS: It is commonplace for images to be blurred in the media out of concern that they might be offensive, or seem to promote a product. I have to wonder why your father would wear a T-shirt with a message on it that he knew would offend the people around him. He does not have the right to censor what mail your mother can receive. Because your wife created the book, she has the right to determine its contents. She should send it to her mother-in-law only and advise her not to show it to Dad.

 

politically charged : 정치와 관련된

berate : 질책하다

out of concern : ~라는 염려에서

 

아내가 가족사진 앨범을 만들어서 모두에게 보내려고 하는데 필자의 아버지가 입은 정치적인 메시지가 적힌 티셔츠를 블러처리했다. 아버지가 화낼 것 같고 어머니는 받고 싶어할텐데 어떡하면 좋을지에 대한 내용.