[Dear abby] 230207

 

 

Grandparents Make Little Effort To See Grandkids

 

DEAR ABBY: I'm 33 with a wonderful husband and amazing kids, ages 4 and 6. I have a close bond with my parents. We live in a city about 80 miles from them. It seems like we are always the ones to do the visiting, and I have to practically beg them to visit me for one overnight visit a year. My house is smaller than theirs, but we offer up our bedroom for their stay. Meanwhile, because my brother still lives at home with my parents, I sleep on an air mattress when I'm there.
Abby, I bend myself into a pretzel to make it work for them, and yet there are always excuses why they won't visit. Mom tells me she misses the kids, but she invariably expects me to pack a bag and head that way. It's frustrating. Sometimes our budget is so tight, I don't have the luxury of spending an extra $70-plus in gas for a trip. My financial situation is not her burden, so I never mention it. I brought up just once in the past that she rarely visits, and she really does believe in her head that she visits at least twice a year. When I corrected her, she blew up.
I'm not sure how to feel about this. Sometimes it hurts inside like a rejection, and other times I feel like I need to tell myself to grow up. So here I am -- in the middle, with grandkids who love their grandparents, grandparents who love their grandkids and, if I don't play the mom-taxi, how will they see each other? -- MOM-TAXI IN TENNESSEE
DEAR MOM-TAXI: They won't. And when your mother asks why you have stopped coming, point out that fuel is costly and your budget is very tight. Then suggest that if she wants her grandchildren to remember her when she and your dad are gone, they need to make more of an effort to visit you more than once a year. If their hesitancy is because your house isn't comfortable, suggest they stay at a nearby hotel or motel.
P.S. If your mother gets lonely between visits, she can always video chat, as countless other grandparents do today.

 

bend myself into a pretzel : You went to great lengths; you did everything possible 무언가를 하기 위해 노력했다는 의미

mom-taxi : 왔다갔다해주는 엄마, 대충 이런 뜻인 듯

blow up : 폭발하다

 

자신이 항상 어머니, 아버지에게 찾아가지만 정작 어머니, 아버지는 자신의 자식들을 보러 오지 않는다는 내용.

 

 

---

 

Man Gets Bitter With Age

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married more than 40 years. As he's grown older, he has become the stereotypical "grumpy old man." Although he can be thoughtful, like giving me flowers for my birthday, he's increasingly moody, impatient and angry. He often rants about politics and other things and won't stop trying to impose his views on me. I agree with some of his opinions, but he gets upset if I disagree.
Because I don't want an argument, I either don't respond or leave the room, which also upsets him. Sometimes he apologizes because he knows his ranting upsets me, but shortly after, he resumes doing it. I love him and do a lot of things for him, but living with him can be a downer. Can you suggest any strategies for coping with my "grumpy old man"? -- ENDURING IT IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR ENDURING IT: Schedule an annual physical exam for yourself and your grumpy old man. Behavioral changes in an older person should not be minimized or ignored because they could be a symptom of physical (or mental) illness. Once you know what you are dealing with, take your cues from the doctor or spend less time one-on-one with your husband and tell him why.

 

grumpy : 성격이 나쁜

rant about : …에 대해 과장하여 말하다[떠들어 대다] (rant는 고함치다라는 뜻)

resume : 재개하다

downer : 진정제, 우울한 경험

take your cues from the doctor : 의사에게 조언을 구하다

 

남편이 나이가 들면서 점점 정치적인 것이나 다른 것드에게 대해 고함을 지르고 감정적으로 대한다는 내용.

이 행동은 무시될 것이 아니라 신체적, 정신적인 아픔 때문일 수도 있으므로 의사에게 조언을 구할 것.